420 ftw
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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