Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
