i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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