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I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
