Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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