I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
