is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
