No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
