there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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