He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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