they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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