i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
