This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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