You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
