I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
