I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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