He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she looked like the before picture.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
