Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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