im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My penis needs a shock collar
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
