What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
