hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
