dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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