i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
