can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
