What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
