I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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