On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
