Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
