What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
