3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Come share oat with me in your robe
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
