just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
