i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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