Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
