you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
