Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
