He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
