I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
