she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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