you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
this is an emotional support booty call
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
