i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
