I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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