Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
