another moral hangover. fuck.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
