Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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