Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish they made helmets for livers.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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