I think I just saw someone hide a body.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just blew my weed a kiss
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
