After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
