I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
