Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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