So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
