Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
