go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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